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Post by VioletDolphin on Aug 30, 2011 6:50:30 GMT -5
Post jokes.
This isn't a good one but it'll do.
A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them...and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.
Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives it to them. The chickens leave as before.
The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!' The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them.
She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit..."
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Post by gerlock on Aug 30, 2011 7:08:57 GMT -5
lol! Here is one.
Vampire bat A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.
He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.
"OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.
Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.
Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"
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Post by VioletDolphin on Aug 31, 2011 3:14:07 GMT -5
lol!!
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
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Post by gerlock on Aug 31, 2011 3:22:22 GMT -5
I was a pizza delivery boy...I know why we get there first. Cops don't drive as fast.
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Post by VioletDolphin on Sept 14, 2011 23:27:01 GMT -5
The Less You Know, The More You Make "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People."
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:
1. Knowledge is Power. 2. Time is Money.
As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time
Since: Knowledge = Power Time = Money
It follows that: Knowledge = Work/Money.
Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.
Conclusion: The less you know,the more you make.
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Post by gerlock on Sept 14, 2011 23:30:55 GMT -5
I always noticed that the people in charge (who earnt more) did less work, didn't know what they were doing and got piles of cash for it. It seems to succeed in this world you have to be a looser.
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Post by VioletDolphin on Sept 16, 2011 2:16:17 GMT -5
true
A person turned on the computer without a keyboard plugged in.
When she turns on the computer, the computer finds out that there is no keyboard attached and it gives a "Keyboard Error" message.
She then asks "Why did it give me a keyboard error?
There isn't even a keyboard attached?
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Post by gerlock on Sept 19, 2011 18:56:33 GMT -5
lol!
Q: How many trolls does it take to screw a lightbulb in? A: Three, one to hold the bulb the other two to turn the ceiling round.
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Post by VioletDolphin on Sept 20, 2011 20:23:28 GMT -5
lol!
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road? A: To get to the Shell station!
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Post by gerlock on Sept 21, 2011 19:18:03 GMT -5
lol!
Say this three times fast: Irish Wrist Watch
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